Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This is my gift to your gina
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
