The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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