I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
