they need to just BURY HIM!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
