he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
