Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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