i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
