im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
