were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it's like iHOP with fire
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
