6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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