I need help removing her.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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