that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
