I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
