guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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