the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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