he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
