No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
