why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
