Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
