It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
