So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
