A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
