you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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