I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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