Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
