I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We need to get me chipped asap
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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