I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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