watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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