Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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