Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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