hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
