I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
