dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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