I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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