It was confusing and full of hummus
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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