Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
