a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
