YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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