Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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