i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
