4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
