so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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