Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
