Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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