Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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