Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
