Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
