thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
