dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
