I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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