what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
