apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
pop tarts are not kleenex
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Bring me that man meat
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
