remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
