I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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