how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
