two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
