I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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