wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
