The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
