I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just found puke in my bra..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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